The Miracle Experiment
I discuss my inability to believe in a loving God often and openly with my students. Many suggestions have been made over the years to remedy the condition. Last year I was teaching a peculiar group of students who I am happy now to call my friends. I trusted them enough to try an experiment.
In our conversations, we got on to the topic of miracles. Would a miracle convince me to believe in God? I told them the story of the time my son was hit by a car in a traffic circle and left the accident unscathed. It seemed to me at the time, and still does, a quirk of physics, not a divine dispensation. I had on many occasions challenged God, “If you really care about me and the students I teach each day give me a sign right now in proof of your existence!” Needless to say, I was not given any such sign, nor have I been struck by lightning, turned into salt or smote with hellfire.
So we devised an experiment. I would genuinely pray for God to heal my son. I would then, in the prayer ask for a determinate sign. I would write down the anticipated sign and give the paper to one of my students. We would then see if the sign occurred. If it did, I would convert to Christianity with a sincere effort to become a practicing Christian, and evangelize my conversion with the depth of rhetorical power at my behest. If no sign occurred this would add inductive proof to my belief that there was no God.
My son had been home with a bad flu. I had posted as much on my Facebook. I had a student who regularly checked my Facebook, and commented on the content. She was friendly enough with me to ask if my wife was feeling better about her arthritis, or if my depression had passed. So I devised a sign that was easily possible. “Syma will ask me if my son is feeling better.” I had class with her that day, a class with a good ten minutes of chat before it got started in the classroom and one that Syma regularly attended (the real miracle would be for her to attend class on time!).
Now that morning I went out to my car to pray. I was determined to make a sincere effort, and it was for a cause that was both moral (the health of my child) and had Biblical precedent for being answered by God. As I was walking to my car I devised all sorts of interesting and intricate signs….but then one just ‘popped’ into my head. There are all sorts of reasons NOT to use the sign I did (it could happen without miraculous intervention, for example, by chance), but in keeping with the effort to be like a Christian, I went with the epiphany. Perhaps God sent me that idea, so I should go with it. And pray I did. There were false starts. There was some mocking caricatures, some feigned reverence. But then I reflected upon my son, and the importance this issue had for my students, and buckled down. I opened my heart in the best way I knew how, and prayed. I talked, shared, mused and mumbled for about ten minutes. Then I respectfully explained my experiment and asked for the sign.
I admit to thinking it just might happen. I admit to being excited and happy at the thought. But, nothing happened. Not only did Syma not ask about my son, she didn’t really even strike up conversation with me, despite some light coaxing. At the end of class I gathered the students involved and got Romaniuk to open the written sign. Failure. No sign. No sign of a sign. We even asked Syma if it occurred to her to ask me about my son’s health and she said, “not really.”
Now, if there was a God, why wouldn’t he make this small effort? I am a good teacher with a very persuasive rhetoric and a robust understanding of the history of Christian thought. I would be a very positive influence for Christianity if I believed in God. Why wouldn’t God send this small insignificant sign?
I write this experiment so that you can tell me where my reasoning, experimental method or derivation of conclusion went wrong. Does this prove there is no God? Or just that if there is one that He doesn’t care about us? Or that He just doesn’t care about me? What went wrong?
By the way, my son was really sick for the next three days.
