I think the world is a generally ugly place, but there are moments of beauty that take my breath away. The quiet smile of a student who recognizes that I noticed and appreciated the risk they took, the way Marla sighs in her sleep when experiencing a happy dream, the overwhelming sense of pride when you see your squire-brother is the last man standing on the battlefield; beautiful. When you hear your son practicing a song he wrote for his girlfriend, singing honest emotion as though there was no one else in the world. When you are sitting, spent and exhausted, in the 'resurrection circle' with other fallen heroes, laughing and recounting tales of valour in the chilly midnight air. This spider in this moonlight under this Dogstar... moments of beauty.
With so much ugliness, pettiness, selfishness, bigotry and injustice you would think we would want to share these moments, to revel in these moments, to enjoy them. But somehow trying to share the appreciation of beauty has become socially awkward.
If I find you beautiful, how do I tell you? Without coming across as creepy, or lecherous, or objectifying?
For example, I do not like dyed hair. I find an older woman with long dark hair flecked with grey beautiful. But social standards make it impossible to express that appreciation without unsavoury imprecations and unwarranted assumption of prurient interests.
The obvious, practical response is, "keep it to yourself." This is what most of us do, but I find that to smack of cowardice. If we want to world to be better, to share our joy with one another, shouldn't we have the courage to express our passions?
What if I find beauty in another man (Antonio Banderas or Rae Spoon)? What if I find beauty in a student, or a colleague or a boss? The well-meaning trolls who want to deliver us from lechery and objectification simply label these as 'inappropriate', to be suppressed or ignored. But I think we have a moral imperative to share beauty.
I love muffin-tops. I love the way people look without make-up or surgery or shaving. I find beauty in the strange and unique. I find beauty in long noses, broad shoulders, large hands and saddlebags. I find beauty in stuttering and pipe-smoking and yoga.
When I see beauty I am going to share it. If it offends you, I'll apologise. If it is awkward my hope is that it is just the feeling that comes with growing up. I am tired of commenting on what is ugly, I'll try to tell you, "I think you are beautiful."
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ReplyDeleteNurturing! there you go Big Guy!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, is such a funny word that most people don't understand.
Stop and smell the roses. Sadly I think the majority of the problem is the pace that people set their lives to. It's not only that they are afraid to admit that something is beautiful, it is the simple fact that they do not take the time to notice something beautiful.
ReplyDeleteInstead of stopping to notice something that is beautiful or that might make us happy we speed towards our next "objective" because there are only so many hours in a day.
I've been saying for quite a few years now that we go too fast as a populace. I've seen people in the Art Gallery of Alberta rush through like if they don't see everything in 2 minutes the place will blow up. I've never understood it. I can stand in front of a certain painting for hours noticing the intricate brush strokes and the technique involved. And while I don't expect everyone to feel the same way I do, 1 minute in a gallery is not enough to take in art.
I'll admit if something or someone is beautiful or brings me joy. I'll admit that another man is beautiful (I've done so on multiple occasions, which garnered funny looks from all around). The world would be a better place if we'd all slow down a bit and appreciate the beautiful things in life.
Some Facebook Comments;
ReplyDeleteCaleen Gamblin:
You make several excellent points. It's probably easier for girls to be complimentary of other people, but I can still understand where you are coming from. I always appreciate a nice comment, or creepy comments, whatever :P
Leah Spencer:
Good stuff, my like-minded friend.
Faron Cahoon:
I hear you, society today likes to hide and stuff everything away because of fear, fear of what may happen, whether it good or bad, and therefore pushing that fear onto all those around you.
Joslin Blench:
that was very beautiful. It's sad and true. With all the terrible things in the world, you think we would be encouraged to share beauty and tell others they are beautiful....Beach you're beautiful!
'Leif' Dickie:
If it was a crime for any citizen to shrink from controversy then your admission of muffin tops love might just apply. Better to hear your opinion than mine in that case. Way to be positive buddy.
Anthony Nong:
Dam you and the time you put in to write these dam nice blurbs! And how enjoyable the reads are
Stephanie Kuhn:
I invite you to compliment my pregnant belly as much as you like. :) When it finally gets here. :P